I pulled up and parked under that same weepy tree that I always park under. A small red car was parked under the next tree down. I could see a female silhouette sitting in the driver’s seat. How long had she been here? Was she leaving? I wondered of her story as I put my car in park, grabbed a Kleenex and began the walk.
Cool today with a bit of overcast, the grass was still damp from an earlier sprinkle. My Birkenstocks I was wearing were not keeping my toes dry! But it wasn’t stopping me from the walk.
I have done this walk, what seems like a thousand times, but today it was different. I couldn’t figure out what it was I just knew it was different. Was it the lady in the car, was it I needed advice and was worried I wasn’t going to get it, was it the overwhelming silence I was experiencing?
Every time, I glance out towards my destination then I put my head down and try to respectfully place my feet. The path is always the same, old habit... routine... staying consistent... Whatever it is it never changes.
Today as I reached my destination I paused as I could feel an overwhelming flood of emotions about to explode. No words were spoken as tears began to glide down my face. There were many questions I had, guidance I needed, confirmations wanted, but all I could muster up was... “I miss you so much!”
I stood there as the brisk breeze blew against me bringing a chill down my spine. The sound of geese honking had placed me in a bit of a trance when I could feel the presence of another soul near. As I glanced over my left shoulder, I could see through the blur from my tear-filled eyes a woman knelt down in front of her destination.
I quickly realized we walk the same path just to different destinations. They all feel like a thousand miles long and most days it is the hardest walk with heartache the whole way. Nothing seems to stop you from taking the walk. I have done it in the pouring rain, the hundred degree heat, as well as a foot of snow.
The “Widow Walk” is that trek from where you park your car to the headstone of your loved one. To all the widows out there... May you take your next Widow Walk with comfort knowing millions are stepping the exact steps, experiencing the heartache, feeling the unknown, and hoping for one day it may become easier.