What to say
There are numerous things I could write about. I could tell you how many tears have been shed over these last couple of days. I could tell you how I feel like I have been punched in the gut. I could talk for hours about how amazing my husband is, that blog might just happen! I could tell you how all the simple things in life are really simple.
But I feel I need to talk about something deeper. I know my girls read my blog, this is one they need to not just read but absorb it into their souls!
When I called Z to let her know the results of the MRI, I as a mom was not prepared for what I would hear on the other end of the phone. The extreme crying, followed with , mom why? Mom why us? Then more crying. There was no way I could get through that phone and hold my girl, it crushed me. It was her response that jolted me. Mom I prayed, I prayed all day while I was in class, why, why would God do this. I don't understand. If I am completely honest I also don't understand.
See when we started this journey 18 months ago, we had no idea what we would experience. The Lord knew what the plan was.
In 18 months, my faith blossomed and I took a stand to share it with the world. We as a family of five allowed our bond to become stronger than we could imagine. Christ was pulled back to the front of Doug's life, my girls opened their hearts up to Christ. Through our story peoples lives were inspired, touched and lessons were taught and learned. Our story has reached thousands. Complete strangers sending me messages of either how we have inspired them or just a thanks for sharing. In our journey we have met the most amazing doctors, nurses, front desk and patients.
We have always had a choice, get knocked down and stay down. Or get knocked down, stand up and ask, is that all the harder you hit! We have a choice to drop our heads and mope. Or hold our heads high and share a smile. Finding the joy in every day, even the really bad days.
So although it is normal to maybe question, don't get STUCK on the question. Trust in The Lord with his plan he has for us. Believe that no matter where we go he is with us by our side. Even in the moments we feel we are alone he is near. Prayers are answered, just sometimes not on our time schedule.
So I now would say to my girls, why us? Because we have been chosen to share our strength, to allow complete strangers into our journey to be inspired, to feel love. Let others see although it is tough, being vulnerable is actually very healthy. To show others it takes sticking together, to fight and fight like hell. That through our story Christ has shined through. Why us? Because The Lord knew from the beginning we had it in us to survive!
Moments of weakness are normal, moments filled with tears will come, moments of joy need to happen forever! With every storm, the sun still shines and rainbows emerge!
We go through life wondering what tomorrow will bring, where we might be next week. All the while we are doing that, we have just missed the moment we are in.
So our journey has no trials for Doug to enter, we have decisions to make on chemo and treatments through the Wellness Clinic, but we have decided from now until the end WE WILL LIVE, and LIVE IN EVERY MOMENT! Loving on each other and finding joy! Praying for a miracle!
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Love and Blessings to all