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Let's be real

1Corinthians 16:13

Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be Strong.

Doug, I, and our good friend Ryan colored Easter eggs last week. It was so much fun, or at least I had a great time. Doug questioned me when I came home with all these eggs and dye. I told him I love coloring eggs and the girls do not want to so I am doing it by myself. He was such a trooper and joined in. I think the fact that Ryan came over made it an easier decision. We laughed until we had tears running down our faces, who knew coloring eggs would be so dang fun!

Easter Sunday was amazing! We sure missed Z! She stayed in Ogden to study for finals. We all attend church. Ryan and Becky joined us, they are such great friends! Doug and I came home and had lunch. Bentli and Demi went over to my Aunt Darlene's house where all my family was getting together. When Doug decided to take a nap, I drove over to say hi to everyone. Man was that good for my soul to be around those people! You have to understand the Cada family is quite fabulous if I must say so. It was so good to see everyone, I did not stay long. As I was leaving I began to cry, what in the world is wrong with you girl. Why are you crying? Is it because you are always the last to leave and you were last to show, but first to leave? Is it because Doug could not go with you? Is it nothing at all? And I realized, I was crying because I was overcome with LOVE. There were no words spoken, but I could feel this enormous power of love and support from each one of them. It was awesome!

Let’s be real people, FAMILY is so important. They are the ones that without saying a word have your back.They Love you all the time, give you support in good and in bad, help you at all costs. Family to me is a high priority! I love every single one of them! Sunday was a good day!

Today Dr. Lochhead called with the results from the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Texas. They confirmed it to be the same tumor that Boise diagnosed.

I am feeling like the wind has been taken from my sail, punched in the gut again! We both were thinking, hoping, it would come back with a different result. Lots of decisions to be made now. Hoping to get another MRI this week to see how things look.

Let's be real people, CANCER SUCKS! No I am screaming at the top of my lungs, CANCER SUCKS!

I am feeling weak, a bit anxious. I have had a great talk with myself tonight, beat myself up a bit. Don't worry I only gave myself one black eye!

I pondered for a moment, why did you set yourself up. Why did you think it would come back any different than what Boise had diagnosed. I guess. . . . HOPE! I truly hoped for a different diagnosis, I wanted a different tumor. I didn't even care if it was a tumor, just a different one please.

I sit with tears running down my face, questioning, why are you being so weak. Strong girlfriend, pull it together you need to be strong! I seriously hate when that Jacki talks to me. She needs to back off. Tonight I want to be weak, I want to cry, I want to scream at the top of my lungs, let me throw a fit like a 2 year old. Tonight I don't want to be strong, tonight I can't hold myself up! Tonight I WANT TO JUST BE SAD!


Exodus 14:13,14

Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still

Love and Blessings to all!

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