Since my last journal entry we have gotten a few phone calls from Seattle.
We have been praising God for our amazing MRI results! Shouting and giving all the glory to him; it is allowing him to do his work and not give up or turn your back on him. It is always believing, believing in miracles, believing prayers will be answered, believing in your journey, believing and knowing prayers are answered on his watch!
So first call was Dr. Benkers, she wants to be over cautious and get an MRI of Doug's spine. Because the 2 spots were in the lining of his brain, she wants to just be sure she isn't missing something. Basically ruling out anything on his spine. So today we are had a 3 hour MRI session at St. Luke's.
Second call came from Mary, Dr. Cobbs Clinical Trial Consultant. She informs us that Dr. Cobbs still wants Doug to be involved in the study he is doing. He called the company putting on the study to get Doug in, even though he had no measurable tumor. He felt Doug was a good candidate for the study.
This is the very short version of what the study is. It is the first stage of the study, it has only been performed on dogs and rats. 10 candidates are being asked to do this study. Doug said to me, Jack if this can not only possibly help me, but help others in the future, I want to do it. It truly touched my heart that he said that. So this first stage is just testing the safety of the device. Doug will wear a headband that has a cord that is plugged into a small device that puts frequency waves to his brain. In which they are hoping the frequency waves disrupts the tumor cells from dividing and producing growth. The cord looks like a headphone cord, and the device is about the size of a pager. He will wear it 24/7, only coming off for showers, for 6 months. Basically we will log how comfortable it is, does it get in the way of daily activities, is it uncomfortable under a hat, does it rub on you skin, does it cause rashes, and so on.
Mary says to me we need him in Seattle Wednesday and he will need to stay for 7 days!
WAIT. . . 7 DAYS!
Doug and I sat down and seriously talked about this, weighing all of our options on how to make this happen. We both felt our girls have sacrificed so much, with us being gone, that I needed to stay with them. Plus being the only one working, I needed to stay and work. This has been a difficult decision for both of us, see we have been side by side for the last 11 months. Away from each other for 7 days might actually be a challenge. But one we are taking in hopes that this study will be a breakthrough for GBM tumors.
So Wednesday Doug will leave for Seattle with my mom. They will be there until the 18th. He will have his first appointment Wednesday getting fitted for the headband and learning how to use it. He stays in Seattle, just in case he has any difficulties. Then he has an appointment on the 8th day to be seen by the doctor. After that appointment they will fly home.
As we prepare for his trip, we have had our moments of tears. I think both of us are anxious about being away from each other. I know it sounds a bit crazy, or maybe a bit controlling on my part. The other day I received the best text from Doug. He said I heard this song and it was everything I would say to you. Please listen to it. I love you! I sat and bawled my eyes out as I listened to the song. I will attach a link http://youtu.be/rRJ0lpu6XaU Tim McGraw My Best Friend
I am one lucky lady to have such an amazing man in my life. We have a love story for the record books. God knew what he was doing back when I was 15 and this "older" guy walked into my life. Blessed to be traveling this journey called life with him by my side.
There are many days that have been a complete struggle for me, wondering if i would be able to keep going. If the challenges that were being put in front of us were going to be that one that would push me over the edge. Many days of being so overwhelmed with how my life has changed, the feeling of being "on" all the time, the strong one, the, I have it all together. Those are the days, if I am completely honest, I want to sit and cry , run away, not be "the strong one". Then i am reminded how lucky I am, how fortunate life has been to me, how by my struggles lessons have been learned by many. There are days I put on a smile, because it makes someone else feel good.
Now I have another story, please, please, please share this one with the young people in your life. I shared it with my JV basketball team and the sophomore team as well. A few weeks ago I received a message on Facebook. It stated something about she worked for St. Luke's and they can make their employee donations to any department and she wanted to know if Doug was using any of St. Luke's physicians. If so she wanted to put her donations to that department for Doug. She then said, any way I can repay him for the many smiles he gave me in the hallways when we were in High School. WAIT A MINUTE! People you have to get this. I have always told my girls, smile at people it might brighten their day, say hello to someone sitting by themselves it might make them feel special. This story is the end product of what I have preached to my girls. You might not even have a clue who's life you are touching, until 29 years later. A smile people, he smiled at her in the hallway. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this story. Tell the young people in your life, smile to that one person you don't like, to that one person that is a bit odd, to that one person that is a complete stranger, that one person that just might need a simple smile. It is the easiest gift to give, plus it is FREE. I challenge you all to practice this in your daily life. Even those days when you don't want to smile, and trust me I have had many, but by putting on a smile and you see how it brightens someone else, actually makes you feel better. Also young people, just how people remember the kind smiles you share, they also remember the not so nice things you say, so look yourself in the mirror, have you been not so nice, hurting someone by your actions or words. Even when you think it is a joke, they might laugh,when inside they are hurting. Live with a bit more kindness in your daily life.
Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Wednesday will be a struggle I am sure, and the days to follow I will probably journal a lot. Writing helps me release, and not having Doug here and missing him, I will need to do a lot of releasing.
I will keep you all updated with how it is going while he is in Seattle.
Love and Blessings to all!