Oh my gosh, I WAS NOT PREPARED for the emotions I would be going through sitting here!
We sat in the waiting room, it is a smaller waiting area away from the main waiting area, the tv was on Swamp People. I am now thinking it was set on that to keep my mind off of what we were actually doing here! Very interesting show, to say the least! A sweet lady sat in the waiting area with us. She sat in the chair knitting. As we watched this goofy show, She says to us, that is a huge swamp, it takes over an hour to get across it on the bridge that goes over it. I said to her that is big. She smiled so sweetly at me. There was a calmness about her that made me feel calm.
The tech came to get Doug, as I stood she says, " oh today you can stay here, this first time we will just take Doug but another time you can come back."
I looked at her and said ok, but I would like to pray over his mask before his first treatment. She told me to follow them. She took Doug into a room to go over some things and pointed to a room across the hall and told me the mask is in there.
I walked into the treatment room, a bit cool with a huge machine and a table off the machine. There it was laying in the location Doug would be laying. Another tech was standing with her back to me, she turned and seemed surprised. I told her I wanted to pray over his mask, her response was I didn't fit the description she had for Doug. I asked her if I could hold it or did I need to leave it where it was. She said you can hold it.
I placed the mask in my hands, I actually held it close to my body, for a moment I just held it. I wanted to feel every part of it. Then I began to pray, as I prayed tears started running down my face. A bit confused, I was not crying for I was praying! I said a prayer like no other, I will not share because this one was between me and God. I will share his presence and my angels were there, standing with me as i prayed over Doug's mask.
I returned to the waiting area, anxious to visit with the sweet lady that sat in there earlier. But no where, she had packed up all her knitting, drinks, snacks, everything, where did she go. I guess she had done her job, she had brought me calmness when I needed it. So I sat in the waiting area alone, well not completely alone I had my thoughts, my angels and someone with there arms wrapped around me! Maybe my Grammy, maybe it was her holding me for a moment, knowing what was coming next. Doug walked back into the waiting area, crying!
He sat down next to me I put my arm on his back as he tried to not cry. I leaned in and whispered in his ear, do you want to talk about it? He shook his head no. I continued with, it is ok to cry, it is ok to be scared, know WE are in this together and I LOVE YOU! I just sat there massaging his back. I love how The Lord helps us to be strong when others need us. Because all I wanted to do was crumble when I saw the tears running down his face.
Within a few minutes we went in to see Dr. Kuhn. She and her nurse Debra walked in, such an amazing energy that woman has. So genuine with her, "so glad to see the both of you!" She looked at Doug and asked how he was doing? It got silent, he began to cry. We all sat there and allowed him to cry. I put my arm around him, as he looked up with big ole alligator tears and says to her, "I've never been scared like this!" The lump in my throat grew very large, as Dr. Kuhn says to him, "How human you are." Wow, I loved that! She said 4 words, 4 words that were huge! She went through how things were going to go. Appointments we would have, resources that were there for us and the girls. She asked about our treatments with the Wellness Clinic, she thought everything we had done was so great. She wants both of them to work together, so she had me give them her contact info. I am feeling so blessed that we can have both of them on our team! As she stands to leave she looks at Doug and says, "let's kick this things ass!" Tonight he will take his first chemo pill.
I went to the salon to work, what was I thinking kept running through my mind. I had no idea this day would be so emotional, now I get to go to the salon and talk about this all day! Well the day went better than I thought, all my clients were amazing, I guess that is why they are mine! Everyone asked how things were and then we just visited. It was nice. My first client of the day was exactly who I needed. I walked in late because our appointment ran longer, I apologized for being late and she responded, no worries. She talked about her senior daughter, what her plans are for the future, we talked about my girl at college and when she was coming home. We chatted about Parade of Homes, when we finished she asked how are things? I told her fine thanks. Today, Sandy Thank You for being my assistant coach. You didn't even know it but you kept my emotions down by being yourself and visiting with me as we always do! You helped me prepare for my day, by doing nothing spectacular!
My life is a blessing, for the journey I have chosen is a rough one, but I know I will travel this journey with amazing people by my side and a God that will not fail me!
Love and Blessings to all!