Doug just went back, leaving me alone in the waiting room. It has been an emotional few days. Lots of feelings going on inside both Doug and myself.
Yesterday was a rough day emotionally, we really came together as a family of 5! I won't go into details, for it was a moment for just the 5 of us. There were many tears.
This morning as I read in my, Jesus Calling book, I was once again reminded.
(yesterday) July 15th
Do not worry about tomorrow! This is not a suggestion, but a command. I divided time into days and nights, so that you would have manageable portions of life to handle. My grace is sufficient for you, but it's sufficiency is for only one day at a time. When you worry about the future, you heap day upon day of troubles onto your flimsy frame. You stagger under this heavy load, which I never intended you to carry.
Throw off this oppressive burden with one quick thrust of trust. Anxious thoughts meander about and crisscross in your brain, but trusting Me brings you directly into My Presence. As you thus affirm your faith, shackles of worry fall off instantly. Enjoy My Presence continually by trusting Me at all times.
Psalm 62:8 Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
Self-pity is a slimy, bottomless pit. Once you fall in, you tend to go deeper and deeper into the mire. As you slide down those slippery walls, you are well on your way to depression, and the darkness is profound.
Your only hope is to look up and see the Light of My Presence shining down on you. Though the Light looks dim from your perspective, deep in the pit, those rays of hope can reach you at any depth. While you focus on Me in trust, you rise ever so slowly out of the abyss of despair. Finally, you can reach up and grasp My hand. I will pull you out into the Light again. I will gently cleanse you, washing off the clinging mire. I will cover you with My righteousness and walk with you down the path of Life.
Psalm 147:11 The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.
I shared with Doug my readings, he listened in silence, as I finished he walked up to me, gave me a soft kiss and said, "thanks Hun!"
As we walked in this morning to St. Luke's, he grabbed my hand. Oh how I truly love holding his hand. He grasped a bit tighter, as I asked if he was ok, he swiped his eyes. Tears were building, yep this is where the strength in me wants to go weak with him, but I don't! He whispered, "I'm fine". I just allowed him to be. I think sometimes we can push, we can ask how are you, we can say things will be good, we can say this sucks, we can push to comfort, and in reality we need to just BE! So that is what I did.
We checked in, they started an IV, for contrast, and we waited in the waiting area. When the tech came to get him, he leaned in looked me straight in the eyes, gave me a kiss, and said LOVE YOU!
I know this might seem like I get on a rampage, but I feel there are loving souls that read my story that I need to touch, talk to, reach, plant a seed, whatever you want to call it. Therefore, I speak. . .
Look in the mirror today, ask yourself, do you love that person you see, do you love the way that person is living their life, do you love the way that person treats others, do you love the way that person carries themselves, seriously think about people, because that person you are looking at is YOU! Don't go through life with a fake you, BE TRUE! Be true to yourself, be true to others, be true in every aspect of your being!
I hope you are all seeing, life is a very short time, love the ones in your life like you have never loved them before!
My heart is full with the love I have for Christ, and the love I have for every single person I touch in my journey!
love and Blessings to all!