Life seems to be crazy, then just when I think it is going to settle a bit it goes CRAZY again! Crazy busy, crazy fun, crazy appointments, crazy kids, crazy jobs, crazy, crazy, crazy! I would not trade it for anything, well maybe a few days of quiet time, I might like that for a moment!
Journal entry for today~
Doug has handled the new chemo quite well, seems to make him more tired than before, but still really strong. His counts have been fairly well, until this last week. They had dropped low enough he will not start back on the chemo until his counts come up. Hoping by next weekend!
He has been going down to the Burger Den on Friday mornings, to have coffee and breakfast and BS with the customers that have missed him. I started working at the Den in the mornings, trying to get the breakfast clientele built back up. I realized a lot of the customers came in to see Doug and visit with him. Funny how you think it is just a restaurant, people don't really care about you, they just come eat your food. I have found out that to be not true! When "regulars" ask how he is doing, I can see the compassion they have for my husband. When Doug started coming down on Fridays, the hugs, the smiles and the it is so good see you's touched my heart. So many people care for him, without us even knowing it. It has been good for Doug to come down and it has been good for customers to see him!
Since my last journal entry the Burger Den was broken into! Here is my Facebook entry that day:
What a day!
A day of dismay, a day of forgiveness, a day of growth!
You see our Burger Den was broke into last night. As I sat with the Eagle police going thru the video I had; see when I took over the business I had cameras installed. I watched 3 young humans stalk my building, then break the window, and climb in thru the window, to the cash register. I felt violated, I felt threatened, and then... I was consumed with sadness. Sadness not for myself, I felt sadness for these 3 young humans. As I took 5 hours with my business closed to clean glass scattered thru the building, in product I had to lose, I actually began to say a prayer. Again, not for myself, I began to pray for these 3 young humans, who need guidance more than I need guidance, who need their hearts softened, more than me, who needs someone to love them or show them love, more than me! So I prayed a prayer for them!
Forgive: to give up resentment of; to cease to feel resentment against an offender
I am grateful for all the help I had today, Teresa thank you for helping clean, Ryan Martin thank you for pulling video, running my window to get boarded up, for being a huge support. Eagle police for being quick to respond, and being so thorough. Thanks to the BEST mom and mother in law for cleaning my house while I was consumed with the Den! And thanks to the WONDERFUL customers we could not serve for understanding why we were closed!
I am sorry and saddened for those 3 young humans, but again realize, I AM BLESSED!
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as The Lord forgave you.
All is well, we got our window fixed and grateful nothing was taken. My plate I guess was not full enough!
Life seems to show us knew things everyday. Things we want to see and experience, and things we might think we don't need to see, or know about, but in all reality they benefit us.
In the last 7 months, I will be completely honest, my life has been turned upside down. But all the while I have learned so much about myself, my family, my husband, my faith, my friends, my whole livelihood really. As Doug hit a very angry moment a few weeks ago, I allowed him to feel it. I stood there and watched as he slammed a chair and threw it off our deck. Screaming in anger. I walked up to him, he laid his head on my shoulder and cried. As I said to him, "this is so healthy for you, this is normal for you to feel all these emotions, I am so proud of you for not holding this in!" We discussed all the positive things that have come from being diagnosed with Brain Cancer. I know some of you are questioning "positive things", let me explain. See before. . . I attended church, but was not faithful; I believed in a higher power, but I did not share it with anyone; before Doug was a "harder" person, now he sees the importance of life; before we took each other for granted, now we are grateful for each other; before "things" were important, now time is important; before we thought we were close and loved each other, now we KNOW how close we are and how much we truly love each other. I could keep going, but you get the point. Some reading this need to not wait until a loved one gets sick to realize all these things.
I am standing firm in my faith, that the Lord has plan, one we cannot see just yet. I am believing in miracles, I am believing by the grace of God healing hands will be laid upon Doug. I am trusting, that thou this season will pass, and a new will blossom.
Life is good, but life is better with friends! We are finding this to be so true! How blessed are we to have such amazing friends in our life. We spent tonight with a great bunch of Doug's ole friends from High School. Dinner was yummy (Thanks Jeanne and Julie), but the company was even better! Thanks, Kristin and Mitch Ramsey, Marty and Julie Okamura, Brent and Jeanne Heck and Brad Molitor. Funny how you are good friends through High School, and you may somewhat grow apart, but when one is in need, you all pull together to love and support each other. That is true friends!
We head back to Seattle soon for an MRI, to compare to his last one. We are believing the tumor is stable. Prayers are always felt and so appreciated. I will do my best to post more frequently.
Psalm 77:14 You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.
Love and Blessings to all!