I was asked the other day, Are you not so happy to see 2015 come to an end, wasn't it the worst year of your life? Quickly I responded, no not the worst year. I found that question to stir a lot of emotions in me.
As I say good-bye to 2015 I have tears running down my face knowing it was the last year I had with the love of my life. Although 2015 taught me more lessons than I could have imagined. It taught me that if you stand firm and keep the faith, you will get your first stable MRI in the biggest fight of our lives. 2015 gave me the joy of my oldest daughter winning the Big Sky Championship and living out one of her biggest dreams of competing in the NCAA Softball Regionals. It showed me how strong my husband was; chemo treatments in the morning and coaching his High School softball team in the afternoon. That if you mentor and coach as Douglas did, great things happen. 2015 brought my middle daughter and youngest a 5A Idaho Softball State title! One of the biggest joys in Doug's life. Followed with Coach of the Year.
We were brought down off of cloud nine, with an MRI showing new tumor growth. Which put us living in Seattle for 3 weeks back and forth. I was brought to tears with the graduation of our middle daughter, and her heading off to college to live out her dream of playing collegiate softball. The summer was filled with complete happiness and memories being made. Family time was very precious to us, the five of us laughed more, shared more, cried more, loved more, and we smiled more. 2015 put another champion in our house, with Demi winning the Idaho State 14U ASA Softball championship.
Stable MRI in August was shot down in September with the worst possible news. Doug's tumor had spread the whole right side of his brain. We were reminded quickly to hold onto our faith and enjoy our sweet time as a family. From there we know how 2015 came to an end.
See in all these things we got to experience, I believe my biggest lesson learned was keeping the faith and seeing the good in all things!
2015 tried to break me, but only gave me a broken heart. It tried to tear my family apart, but we were only pushed to a tighter bond. It tried to force me to weakness, but prayer put strength in my body. It confirmed what I have always preached, we have a choice in all things we experience on this journey called life. In 2015 we chose to live, even with every trial thrown in our path, we chose to live.
I could never say 2015 was the worst year, because it was the last year I got to spend with my best friend. It gave us many joys, and with every downfall we became closer, we loved deeper, and we realized how precious time together was.
So as 2015 comes to an end I would like to say, Thank You! In this year I learned we are definitely not in control. That we need to always trust and keep the faith. That there are things we will never understand, and if we get stuck in trying to figure them out we are no longer living. I learned that sometimes a simple smile can change a life. That one persons story can touch many lives, that if we share not just the good, but express the hardships we face it helps others to not feel alone. I have learned life is limited and we need to seriously live in the moment, because in a blink it could be gone. 2015 you have challenged me, you have pushed me to breaking points, you have taken from me, along with hurt me. But in the end here is what I want you to know. You have CHANGED me, you have given me a DEEPER FAITH, you have provided me with LOVE, you gave me HOPE, and most of all you allowed me TO HAVE A VOICE! Thank you.
In 2016 I challenge you all to LIVE!
Make it a happier year, even if you don't have anything bringing you joy. You have a choice to find something to make you happy.
Love on a deeper level. Do not allow small things to destroy love. Chose to fight for love.
Give and give from your heart, with no stipulations tied to your giving. Giving freely sets you free!
Play more in 2016. We get wrapped up in everyday routines and forget to play! Chose to keep that inner child alive. Plus watch what happens to your kids and your relationships with your kids if you play more with them.
Speak kinder. Kinder to those you love, kinder to others, kinder when the doors are shut, kinder especially to yourself. Speak kinder to YOURSELF, do not self destroy.
See the positive in all situations. It is your choice to either focus on the negative or the positive. Focus on the good, it is what will fill your cup.
Be the best YOU you can be. Do not try to be anyone but yourself.
In 2016 live to be true! True to who you are, true to your values, see being your true self is when we are finally living!
My wish for 2016:
That it will guide me through this grieving process. That I may be filled with hope, and joy again. That through my story, I may reach more than I have ever. My wish is for more lessons to be put in front of me, see if we are not learning than we are not living. My wish is for strength and compassion to ooze from my pours. To give a light to my girls, to become a pillar of power, that nothing stands in our way. My wish is more lives can be lived with Christ being the leader. That my sweet girls have a successful, love filled, lesson learning, abundant New Year! My wish is that 2016 may bless every single soul reading this. That you all feel the power of The Lord.
2016 I wait in anticipation of what you will bring me. I ponder what The Lord will guide me to be or what he may guide me to do. 2016 Welcome! I'm excited for this journey filled with many more lessons!
Happy New Year's!
Psalms 20:4 May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed
Love and Blessings to all